Prison separates you from the people who matter most. The strain on family relationships is one of the hardest parts of serving a sentence. Yet with intention and effort, many prisoners maintain strong bonds that sustain them through custody and beyond. This guide covers the practical ways to keep your family relationships alive while you are inside.
Why Family Contact Matters
Research consistently shows that prisoners who maintain strong family ties are less likely to reoffend on release. Family contact provides emotional support, motivation to stay out of trouble, and a reason to plan for the future. It also helps your family cope with your absence.
The Prison Service recognises this. The Incentives and Earned Privileges (IEP) scheme rewards prisoners who maintain positive family contact, and most prisons actively encourage visits and phone calls.
Prison Visits: Making the Most of Your Time
Face-to-face visits are the most valuable form of contact. Most prisoners on the standard regime receive at least two visits per month, with enhanced prisoners entitled to more.
**Booking visits**: Visitors must book in advance through the prison's visits booking system — usually online or by phone. Some prisons use the Prison Voicemail service or a dedicated booking line.
**What to expect**: You will be strip-searched before and after some visits, particularly closed visits. During the visit, you sit across a table from your visitor. Physical contact is limited — a brief hug or kiss at the beginning and end is usually permitted, but holding hands throughout is not.
**Children visiting**: Many prisons have family visits with play areas and longer durations. Some run "Family Days" with activities designed for children. Ask the visits department what is available.
**Making visits count**: Avoid discussing legal problems or prison complaints during visits. Focus on your family's lives, your plans for release, and positive memories. Children especially need reassurance that you are safe and that you love them.
Phone Calls: Staying in Touch Regularly
Phone calls are the lifeline of prison communication. Once your PIN phone account is set up, you can call approved numbers from wing phones or in-cell phones.
**Setting up contacts**: You must submit phone numbers for approval. The prison checks that the person accepts your calls and that the number is not barred. This can take several days.
**Cost**: Prison phone calls are expensive. A 30-minute call can cost several pounds. Your family may struggle to afford regular calls, so discuss a calling schedule that works for your budget.
**Call times**: Phones are available during association hours, typically early evening. Some prisons have in-cell phones with more flexible timings. Be aware that calls are recorded and monitored.
**Tips for phone calls**: Keep conversations positive. Avoid discussing your case, other prisoners, or prison staff. If your call is cut off mid-conversation, do not call back immediately — this can flag as suspicious activity.
Letters and Emails
Written communication has advantages that phone calls do not. Letters can be reread, shared with children, and kept as tangible proof of your care.
**Email a Prisoner**: The Email a Prisoner service lets your family send emails that are printed and delivered to your wing. Replies go through the normal postal system. It is faster than standard post and costs a small fee per message.
**What to write**: Tell your family about your daily routine, education, or work. Ask about their lives. Include drawings or poems for children. Avoid anything that could be interpreted as coded messages or instructions for illegal activity.
**Photographs**: You can receive photographs through the post. These are precious keepsakes. Ask your family to send recent photos of children, pets, and home. Keep them in a photo album or under your mattress.
Supporting Your Partner Financially and Emotionally
Your partner may be struggling with lost income, childcare, and the emotional burden of your absence. Practical ways to support them include:
Parenting From Inside
Being a parent in prison is uniquely painful. You miss milestones, cannot comfort your children in person, and may feel your role has been erased.
**Stay involved**: Ask your partner or family to share school reports, photos, and updates. Write to your children directly, even if they are too young to read — your partner can read the letters aloud.
**Storybook Dads and similar programmes**: Many prisons run programmes that let you record yourself reading a story for your child. Ask the chaplaincy or education department what is available.
**Be honest but age-appropriate**: Older children will eventually find out where you are. It is better that they hear it from you in a controlled way than from playground gossip.
When Relationships Break Down
Not all relationships survive a prison sentence. If your partner ends the relationship, or if family members withdraw contact, this is devastating but not uncommon.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can my partner visit me every week?
It depends on your IEP level and the prison's visiting schedule. Standard prisoners typically get two visits per month. Enhanced prisoners may get more.
Can I send gifts to my family from prison?
You cannot send physical items directly, but you can arrange for family to send money from your prison account to theirs, or save for gifts on release.
What if my family cannot afford to visit?
The Assisted Prison Visits Scheme provides help with travel costs for low-income families. Ask the visits department for an application form.
Can I video call my family?
Some prisons offer video calls through services like Purple Visits. Availability varies. Ask your personal officer or check the prison website.
What if my ex-partner stops bringing my children to visit?
You can apply for contact through the family courts. The prison can provide forms and guidance. Maintaining parental contact is generally considered in the child's best interests unless there are specific risks.
*Last updated: June 2026.*